Thinking, that's all.

I was in Costa Rica. Wait what? What is that? My mind still cannot comprehend that concept. I spent my spring break on a mission trip in Costa Rica. THAT IS SO CRAZY TO ME! I’m overwhelmed by my experience and all that I saw and felt while I was there. I’ve spent the past 48 hours mulling everything over and wishing I could go back. So, obviously, I’m about to write all about it. Brace yourself.

Selfless Service. I’m not one to work. I’m not very strong, and I’m a huge complainer. But I absolutely thrived every chance we were given to work. Our team built walls and shoveled dirt and hammered cement, and it ruled. It felt amazing to be doing something that benefits someone else without expecting anything in return. Each day I woke up expecting to be tired or worn down by the physical work done from the day before, but I felt nothing but rested and ready to jump into another day of labor. God answers prayers. He really does. I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God to give me His strength so I could work whole-heartedly each day, and He answered my prayers immediately. If only I felt that way every morning getting up for school. 

Childlike faith. I saw first hand what childlike faith looks like. It’s funny, but even though none of us could speak fluent Spanish, it didn’t seem to effect our interactions with the kids. I love them. My God, I love those kids so much. Playing with them and talking with them and hugging them was just the icing on top of a perfect week of work. Ironically, I feel like I was changed more by them rather than they were changed by us. I think I sort of assumed that when we would meet those kids from the church that they would be the ones overwhelmed and taken aback by us. That was silly to think, because I was so wrong. We were the ones that learned from them and grew by playing with them. Saying bye to the kids the last day after playing soccer, and duck duck goose, and frisbee with them was so hard. A couple of my friends even shed tears hugging them goodbye. Those children just love life, you know? They are so young yet they seem to know so much. They didn’t know anything about us prior to meeting us, but they still trusted and played with us all the same. How sweet is that?

Lessons Learned. I learned that sometimes all anyone wants is love, and someone who is willing to give it. I discovered that you have to go into anything with an open mind. I realized it’s not about what can be done for you, but what you can do for others. I remembered that all that I do and say should be for the glory of God, because He is Lord and King. I decided that sometimes it’s better to be silent and listen instead of trying to throw in your two cents every chance you get. I made friendships that will continue to develop even though the week in Costa Rica ended. I grew from those experiences and was humbled by the people I came to face to face with. All in all, I learned about life, and how important it is to take advantage of any oppurtunity given to step into someone elses shoes and live for a moment in their world.

Til next time, PURA VIDA!

Contrary to what the title of this blog implies, there is no such thing as a comfortable Christian. Now, before you roll your eyes and close out of this blog thinking I’m going to preach to you on a soap box about how everyone needs to start throwing Bibles at random people on the street, hear me out.

I struggle so much. I struggle in my relationship with my family, as I try to be the best daughter and sister I possibly can be. I struggle in my friendships, as I have the tendancy to forget to close my mouth and just listen. I struggle with myself, as I am most definitely my own worst enemy. And finally, I struggle in my relationship with God, as I feel like I am constantly trying to win His heart by being what a “good” Christian should be. Out of all of these relationships I worry and stress over though, I realize only one will fix the rest. And that’s my relationship with God.

You see, it’s not about abstaining from sex, or drinking, or drugs, or cussing, or greed, or whatever else everyone is using as a scale of how “good” of a person they are. Sure, those things are important too, and I’ll be the first to say it. In fact, I can guarantee you I will write a blog about one of them in the near future, but there is something far more important, and that is who you are. It’s how you respond when your best friend calls you crying because she doesn’t love herself, it’s what you do when you see someone in need, it’s the lightness of heart you show to those who are lost in their own darkness, and it’s how you constantly chase after a relalationship with God and don’t give up. That says everything. That reveals so much more than what your mouth can say.

So don’t be a comfortable Christian. Take a stand and go out of your comfort zone. Tonight I received a message that shook me inside. It reminded me of who God has been calling me to be since I gave my life over to him, and that I can make a difference right now. I can make an impact on someone just they way I am. I genuinely believe it was a gentle reminder from God telling me to not settle into the norm. Don’t put on a show so you can appear holy, that’s not what being a Christian is about. Be active. Be bold. Be humble. Speak your mind. Show kindess. Because honestly, there’s a problem if people only know your a Christian by your Facebook.

‘Til next time, “Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words.”

Life moves so fast. So, so fast. And I don’t think I ever understood that. People can tell you that for years and years and and years, but you won’t understand it until the moment you’re sitting in your car on the way home from church on the last Sunday of summer before your senior year of high school. And then you can’t stop crying and you don’t know why. It’s not a saddness. It’s not because something is wrong…it’s just because. And that’s a feeling I’ve never known before. And I don’t think anyone understands that feeling until they realize how fast life moves. Until your looking around your room at everything you’ve collected since elementry school, or until you realize that this is the last time your parents will wake you up for school, or until you’re starring at the application to the college you’ve dreamed about since you can remember. And then you know. Then you will understand how fast life moves. And you wish you could freeze time. You wish you could just make everything stop, or at least slow down for a little bit. But you can’t. Life moves too fast, and you have to enjoy it before you miss out on it all together.

So I’m going to reminisce on summer tonight. I’m going to hold on to every last night I spent at Whataburger. And remember every drive I spent with my friends screaming songs at the top of my lungs. I’ll strain to perfectly remember the time I spent at camp, when I saw friends that I only get to see yearly, and was a light to little kids who hadn’t encountered God before. I’ll feel the heat of the sun and the humidity in the air, and not cringe about it. I’ll close my eyes and picture the beach, which even though is digusting, is one of my favorite places in the world. I’ll relive the nights I spent hanging out with my parents. I’ll hear my sister’s voice telling me she’s engaged. And I’ll see my other sister walking across the stage at her graduation. I’ll pretend I was athletic, and think about all the times I played dodgeball and ultimate, and ran around laughing. I’ll watch the videos I posted on Facebook. I’ll remember sleepover’s with my friends. I’ll recall all the conversations I had with my best friend that still echo in my head. I’ll try my hardest to remember what you looked like the night that you took my breath away and I wanted you to be mine. And lastly, I’ll pray.

I’ll pray tonight for my friends. The ones that are scattered across Texas, the ones going into their senior year with me, and the ones starting a completely new chapter in their lives. I’ll pray for safety, that God will keep everyone under His protection. I’ll pray that my teachers have a sense of humor and a high tolerance for loud-mouths like myself. I’ll pray for my parents, who are also going to school to try their best to change the lives of their students. I’ll pray for my sisters, that are just trying to make it to the next big steps in their lives. I pray for the lost and troubled, that they may find peace. And I’ll pray for myself. God, I pray that I might be something to someone. That I might be someone’s shoulder to cry on, person to laugh with, or friend to pray with. I pray that I’ll find my kindness, practice patience, and be fearless. I pray for more nights like these, where I learn how to deal with my emotions, instead of hiding them. And I pray that I might know how fast life moves from now on, and never take it for granted.

‘Til next time, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”-Ferris Bueller

So not always, but a lot of the time, my blogs talk about my most recent concerns, or troubling thoughts, or problem, or advice. But this blog I am going to devote completely to God. And by that I mean I’m going to talk about the wonderful things He’s doing in my life and in my family. This isn’t bragging, this is merely putting credit where credit is deserved.

First things first, my sister is getting married. That fact in itself is mind blowing and beautiful. I love Sara with all my heart, and I’m very protective of her, which is funny because she is 27 and is old enough to take care of herself. But even though I’m protective over her, I’m excited for her to start this new chapter in her life with Diego. I love them togther, I really do. I’ve never seen her so happy. I didn’t know two people could be so happy together. The craziest part is that now I don’t just think of Sara, I think of Sara and Diego. Together. That’s beautiful. Weddings are beautiful. I hope I don’t cry.

My sister Katie is graduating from Texas A&M this Friday. Wait what. How did four years go by so quickly? I remember moving her into her dorm in 2008 when she was just a freshman. Just a little fish in a big pond. Now Katie has worked with National champions for track, been next to all my future husbands on the football team as a trainer, and chugged a pitcher or beer with her gold and diamond class ring at the bottom without throwing up. I’m so proud of her for what she has accomplished at A&M. I can’t express the amount of pride I take in being her sister. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and now a college graduate. Hopefully I will be able to follow in her footsteps. Thanks and gig ‘em.

God is really amazing. He really is. It’s not like life is always sunshine and rainbows. It’s not. In fact, life can just plain suck sometimes. But every now and then, God puts huge blessings in your life that you can’t ignore. I’m so excited about the wonderful things He’s doing for my family right now. Prayers have been said and prayers have been answered. Sometimes it’s not always in the way you hope, but that’s a good thing I think. I think it’s good to let go and let God direct your troubles and prayers the way he wants to. So thanks Lord, for knowing what we need more than we do.

‘Til next time, rejoice and be glad!

Let me give some background info first before I start this thing. First of all, for those of you who are not in touch with the rest of America, today is Mothers Day, so tell your mothers, grandma’s, and aunts you love them! Secondly, for those of you who are social network inept or don’t listen to Drake, YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. Also, this weekend my sister Katie came home from College Station to be with the rest of the family for Mothers Day weekend. Now for those of you who don’t know my sister (and for those of you who do and refer to her as “the hott one,”) Katie and I can sometimes get fussy with each other. I love her to death, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes we just get on each others nerves.

Like today for instance. My mom left early for church because she was supposed to read and therefore needed to get there before us. This gave Katie and I the perfect opportunity to run to CVS to pick out a card for her for Mothers Day before heading over to church. Somehow, while trying to get ready, Katie and I started fighting. She told me I wasn’t getting dressed fast enough (which, let’s be honest, I wasn’t) and I argued that she treats me like a child. This yelling continued all the way to CVS. Once we got inside, we silently looked at and read cards to get for my mom. As we walked up to pay for the card, we got stuck behind this lady who had like thirty items to pay for, of course. And then suddenly the little four year old girl that was with her turns around. The girl had cancer.

At once it hit me. Why on Earth was I fighting with my sister about something so insignificant, when there is a beautiful little girl in front of me fighting for her life? Besides the fact that she was bald and had to have a mask over her mouth, this girl was eye catching because of her laugh. That’s what caught me off guard. This little girl, who has already endured more pain and suffering than a lot of us have, was laughing sweetly and playing with a blue bouncy ball next to her mom like any other normal four year old. At one point the ball rolled towards me and when I reached down to bounce it back to her, she smiled and said thank you while giggling. I wanted to cry.

You only live once. That’s the motto, right? Well, I certainly think so. I find it hard to believe that people can get mad and fight over such insignificant, petty things when there is suffering like that in the world. I find it hard to hate life when that little girl loves every bit of hers. I don’t understand God or His ways, and I’m not going to say that I do, but I can say there is a reason that I was at that store behind that little girl at that moment. So please do something for me. Please show people how much you love them. Show them that they are special, and important. Apologize when you’re wrong. And don’t get mad about the little things. There are so many other, more important things to care about.

‘Til next time, YOLO.

Alright, so earlier my friend posted this status about straight edge people. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon ever since I first read it, so naturally, I decided to blog about it. For anyone who doesn’t know what being straight edge entails, it pretty much just means that person has decided to abstain from the use of drugs and alcohol. Let me say first of all that I personally do not drink, smoke, do drugs, or believe in having sex before marriage. Some of these choices are based on my religious beliefs, and some of these are just personal decisions that I have made in the past couple years. Anyways, I’m gonna clarify a few points that need to be made.

So, although I agree with the lifestyle of straight edge people, I do not believe that gives them the right to think of themselves as better than anyone else. But to say that this is the reason you hate straight edge people, because they are self righteous, is too broad of an assertion to make. You’re taking a certain type of people and sticking a stereotype on them. Taking pride in your beliefs is something that should not be condemned. Celebrating being drug and alcohol free is no different than celebrating your faith in Jesus Christ. Which brings me to the next thought that has been bothering me.

Nobody is good. Everyone does bad things, or sins, and cannot categorize the level of how bad it may be in the eyes of others or God. For example, if you say you are better than someone else because you do not have sex before marriage, but you go around lying and stealing, you are still wrong. Or vice versa. And just for the record, being straight edge and being Christian are two entirely different things; they are not related in any way. Therefore, don’t criticize others for their choices. Instead, analyze yours and make sure that you are doing what’s right based on your religious or personal beliefs. There’s no need to look at others condescendingly because they do or don’t party, do or don’t drink, do or don’t get high. No one will ever change their mind about something if you tell them why they are wrong and you are right. If you want someone to see your side, you have to inspire them by your words and actions. 

‘Til next time, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So I don’t know what it is about this month, but something about March I just don’t like. I don’t know if it’s the lack of holiday cheer, the middle-of-semester-just-want-it-to-be-summer feeling, or what…but I just get a bad feeling in my gut about this month. This March, I’ve come down with a wonderful case of nostalgia and uncertainty, and I can’t seem to get over it. Let me see if this can’t help draw a visual: I’m currently lying down in my bed at midnight listening to unnecessarily sad songs that make me reflect on memories from the past few months that I can’t seem to get out of my head. Like, what the heck? That’s so lame, and so not how I am. But, whatever, I guess I’ll just go with it.

Anyways, so as I’m day dreaming about this past year, I’m thinking about all the things I’ve said and done, and all the things I wish I could go back and undo, redo, or repeat. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason…but I can’t help wondering lately what that reason may be. I trust fully that God has a plan for me and is telling me to be patient and trust in Him, but it’s so easy to want to try and do everything myself. I get tempted to just take matters into my own hands and try and make my life a reflection of me, not Him.

So that leads us to March. I really don’t like it. I know that sounds dumb, to blame a month for my problems, but I’m telling you, the eleven other months are way better than March. I’m not really sure what this post is about, or why I’m talking about my current internal dilemma in a blog, but whatever. March sucks.

‘Til next time, 16 days til April.